In an age where dating often feels like a battlefield of mixed signals, ghosting, and unrealistic expectations, sangoma and author Nokulinda Mkhize is offering a fresh yet deeply traditional perspective on romance. Her latest book, Kitchen Wisdom: What We Hate to Hear But Need to Know About Men and Romance, draws on ancestral knowledge and age-old relationship truths to help modern women navigate love with clarity and confidence.
Set to launch on Saturday, 15th February, at 2 PM at Book Circle Capital in Melville, Johannesburg, Kitchen Wisdom is not just a book—it’s a spiritual intervention for women seeking love without losing themselves.
A Sangoma’s Perspective on Love
For 17 years, Mkhize has worked as a sangoma, guiding people through the complexities of life, love, and personal growth. Through her consultations, she noticed a troubling pattern: women were thriving in their careers but struggling to find fulfilling relationships.
“Many women are trying to juggle being successful modern women while also wishing to find a decent and nurturing adult romantic relationship with a man,”
Mkhize explains.
“But they find themselves in cycles of pain and heartache, making terrible compromises to secure a man’s affection.”
She believes that while society has evolved, the human heart has not—our emotions, desires, and needs remain deeply rooted in ancestral patterns. This is where traditional wisdom, passed down through generations, becomes vital.
The Power of Kitchen Wisdom
Mkhize argues that many women today have lost touch with the practical love lessons once shared in the kitchen spaces of older generations. These spaces were sacred hubs of guidance, storytelling, and survival strategies for women navigating love and relationships.
“A lot of the advice about men that we heard in the kitchen from the women in our lives remains true today. They spotted the patterns, learned the lessons, and emerged wiser,”
says Mkhize.
Her book lays out core principles of romance that many women today ignore to their own detriment, including:
- “Never Chase a Man” – Understanding that genuine love is never forced.
- “Do Not Do Wife Things Before You Are the Wife” – Avoiding the trap of giving too much too soon.
- The danger of “Fake Friends and Frenemies” – Recognizing how negative female relationships can weaken a woman’s sense of self-worth.
Sisterhood, Spirituality, and Self-Respect
For Mkhize, Kitchen Wisdom is about more than just relationships—it’s about restoring the sacred bonds between women. She warns that many women have become isolated from the support systems that once sustained them, making them more vulnerable to romantic disappointments.
“Strong relationships with other women are complementary and necessary in having a balanced view of romance,”
she emphasizes.
With this book, Mkhize is not just offering dating advice; she is reviving an ancestral blueprint for love—one where women honor themselves, trust their intuition, and lean on the wisdom of their foremothers.
A Must-Read for Women Seeking Clarity in Love
As Valentine’s Day approaches, Kitchen Wisdom is the perfect book for any woman ready to embrace love with both her heart and her head. Whether for yourself, a niece, sister, or friend, Mkhize’s insights provide the guidance modern dating apps and relationship trends often fail to deliver.
Where to Get the Book
- Online: Guided Africa Shop
- Book Circle Capital – 27 Boxes, Melville
- Amazon.com & Kindle
About Nokulinda Mkhize
A respected sangoma, writer, and spiritual coach, Nokulinda Mkhize is known for blending African spirituality with modern life. Through her work, she empowers women to navigate relationships with wisdom and self-awareness.
Her first book, Ancestory: Ancient Lessons for Modern Life, was published in 2022, exploring the role of ancestral guidance in contemporary life. Kitchen Wisdom marks her second offering, continuing her mission to reconnect modern women with the powerful traditions of their foremothers.
For those ready to embrace love with strength, wisdom, and self-respect, Nokulinda Mkhize’s Kitchen Wisdom is a revelation.